Scarred for life: Can't eat, can't sleep ...I'm sorry. They say there's a match for everybody, but that doesn't mean you have to let them breed. Besides, I don't think that would fit with any of the story lines of this allegedly unscripted piece of shit.

But I guess the threat of impending fatherhood is considered high drama. Especially if he makes like he was an unwilling participant. This week they're using the old "man finds discarded pregnancy test in garbage" ploy. If this was any decent sitcom we'd find out somebody's uncle or grandmother is knocked up. Or Spencer's sister. Nah, scratch that one. She's too much of a train wreck - nobody would believe it, nobody would care.

Not that things are much different for her brother. Not even Brody could contain his horror at the idea of Spencer's little swimmies being hijacked. He may never get over it ... and neither could we, if it turns out to be true.