The Bang Bang Lady and The Boom Boom Girl - Happy Fourth of July, hos! If you plan to celebrate by doing firework stuff today, I suggest you get in your car (or take the next Chinatown bus) to Phenix City, Alabama and ask for The Bang Bang Lady or The Boom Boom Girl to assist you with all your sparkly needs. Also, maybe you should let The Boom Boom Girl know that in certain circles her nickname means "prostitution whore." Actually, maybe that's what they are really selling over there! Buy 1 and get a finger bang bang and a bagina boom boom for free! It is the American way.

And if you are an American, it is your duty to watch all of their commercials. Actually, if you are a citizen of the world, it is your duty to watch this shit! That's Hawwwwwt!