Before I get to the sketchy aspect of this story - or should I say, the sketchiest part of the story, Lindsay Lohan and her crack pipe took to Twitter on Monday to deny reports that she’d been all over Gerard Butler (or that he’s been all over her). Lindsay crack tweeted from Morocco (she’s still there) “it’s amazing, one minute i’m dumped, the next i’m dating a model, now gerard? WHO HAS THE TIME! such lies -it keeps me laughing J”. Yes, Lindsay. Who has the time? Oh, that’s right. You do. Because you’re only “job” is showing up to red carpet events and sustaining your own insane drama.

Speaking of, Lindsay broke news about a strange attack. Apparently, someone pulled a gun on Lindsay. And the guy even pulled the trigger. Lindsay tweeted the drama:

Umm-OMFG! I was walking ahead of Patrick with the security guard & some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car & pointed a GUN at me! I Was on the phone w/my mum &I screamed and ducked & the guy started laughing & pushed the trigger & it was a fake gun.. I was crying.. he scared me

[From Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter]

Ugh. Does anyone else doubt this actually happened? I’m kind of thinking it was just some drugged out hallucination. Like, “Oh my God, he has a gun! He’s going to kill me!” And then, “Um, Lindsay, that’s a lamp post.”

In one other piece of Lohan news, Fox News 411 has a bullsh-t article up about Lindsay trying to get her act together. A source “close to Lindsay” says: “Lindsay is focused and trying to build her brand. Lindsay has been tough on her employees and the people she paid blindly in the past. She has laid down the law and told them exactly what she wants from them if they expect to get paid. Lindsay is trying not to let herself be used anymore - she refuses to be taken advantage of for her money and she is wising up! She has very few people she can trust and is finally listening to the right ones.” Translation: There’s no money coming in, so she’s going to have to cut down her entourage to the few people who enable her the most.